Paris Hilton Has Bobble Eyes

Look, her right eye (left) is a lazy eye or something!

Smooth-E Does Lilo

L-I-N-D-S-A-Y (Career Suicide)

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Gingrich Backs Up Spork Prediction

Clinton-Obama '08

The fat lady has sung.

Indian Thriller

via the Pirate

Ron Paul is a Testicle, Part 56

and a loony conspiracy theorist, too.

Funniest Crap Ever

Ummm...nice one, Bollywood.

A Random Hoff Post

Some classic Hoff Youtubes.

Ron Paul Has Ringworm and So Do You

Ron Paul has ringworm!*

Slow posting...having to vacuum the entire house every friggin' day and washing everything down with bleach is consuming most of my time. Plus having to medicate the vermin 500 times a day isn't helping, either.

*If you believe me, you're an idiot (a.k.a., a Ron Paul supporter)

Ringworm

Yep, both the kitten AND the dog now have nasty cases of ringworm.

I would post pictures, but that might just gross everyone out.


FYI, we adopted a kitten from a rescue last month, and that's how there is now a fungus among us.

I'm now a fungal expert, apparently.

Britney Spears is a Crazy Homeless Lady

Why does she even bother wearing clothes?


GROSS! (NSFW = not safe for work)

Ron Paul tits part 2

"The answer is, all those people bought their own stickers, and the pollsters obviously didn't call them. With some 20% of people "undecided" and only some 6% "sure" of for whom they will vote (I imagine that number constitutes at least 50% Ron Paul supporters), I think that Ron Paul is not so much on the outside looking in, as he is already at the top of the hill, waiting for the rest of the kids to make it up so he can say "What took y'all so long?"

That is from one of the Spork's RP trolls, except this comment was left on a different blog. Let's analyze this comment.

"Ron Paul is already at the top of the hill..."

Obviously, this troll was either molested as a child, or grew up without a baby daddy. His blind devotion to Ron Paul counters that of even Islamic terrorists.

"...waiting for the rest of the kids to make it up so he can say"What took ya'll so long?"

So Ron Paul is a child molester, apparently.

What are some recommended medications for delusional maniacs?

Ron Paul Supporters are Retarded!

Because they cannot comprehend that the rest of the normal world (98%) is using them for fun!

Ron Paul Fans Suck

A best of youtube.....

AllahPundit on Ron Paul

Paulites are loonies!

Ron Paul is a Nutsack

*update*

Ron Paul's supporters DID respond, looks like they can't let things go! Better get to work on campaigning instead of trolling around here....you might want your candidate to REGISTER on the next poll!

Poser!

I'm supposed to go with my husband tonight and be "mentors" for a group college kids. That's great for people like my husband who is well past college age, but I'll be the same age as the college "kids." Whoever wanted those "youngsters" to be influenced by me is on crack. Yes, someone actually asked me to do it!

Do I:

A) Fess up and say I'm 22 and have it be all awkward
B) Lie, risk eternal damnation, and say I'm 25
C) Be vague and dance around the issue, making them think I'm really 40 because of my unwillingness to answer the age question


Terrible, terrible, terrible. There needs to be less crabby people like me.

By the way, Ron Paul is STILL a turd!

Edwards More Feminine than Hillary

Um, duh?

Hillary is about as butch as they come, while Edwards prances around like a fruit.

Dramatic Squirrel Remix

The original Dramatic Squirrel can be found over at Master of None.

However, I've found the sequel.

Glenn Beck on Ron Paul; Homeless Bob Wins

"Ron Paul has no chance of winning. Period."

- Glenn Beck

Beck also took on a bunch of Ron Paul testicles who called in to support their man. Is it just me, or are ALL Ron Paulies completely deranged?


And Homeless Bob beat out Ron Paul in the Straw Poll, while I nominated the rock for VP.

If I win, I get beer, right?

The Beckhams are Weenies

Is anyone else incredibly sick of hearing about the Beckhams coming to the US?

Celebrities are a dime-a-dozen in L.A. Who cares?

A soccer player and a washed-up pop tart.

Read the comments following the article...apparently a lot of British have a stick up their butt.

Straw Poll 2008

Who has a better chance of winning the 2008 Presidential election?

Homeless Bob
Cons: Smelly; lives in a cardboard box
Pros: More well-known than Ron Paul

The Special Olympics Swim Team
Cons: They have Down Syndrome
Pros: They are smarter than Ron Paul

Osama bin Laden
Cons: Believes in the same foreign policy as Ron Paul.
Pros: More rational than Ron Paul.

Ron Paul
Cons: He's Ron Paul.
Pros: ?

Kim Jong-Il
Cons: He's completely insane.
Pros: He's more stable than Ron Paul.

A rock
Cons: It's not alive.
Pros: It's more animated than Ron Paul.

Ron Paul is a Testicle , Continued

Hillbilly White Trash has a great post up about our buddy, R.P.

"Oxygen Thieves." Heh.

Ron Paul's Supporters are Mad at Me

Both of them!

Ron Paul Has Down Syndrome and So Do You

Ok, I'm in a totally pissed off mood. If you don't want to be offended, then stop reading.

Ron Paul and all of his nutjob supporters are going to guarantee a Democrat win in 2008. I have tried to discuss this common sense issue with some Conservatives who have said they will vote for Paul in '08. Their response is:

Well, because of my high moral standard, I just can't vote for any of the other candidates.

This is the part where I run screaming from the room.


Basically, the best reason is because you are full of yourself, you self-righteous tits.

Ron Paul has Down Syndrome, and so do all of his supporters. Jerks. Thanks in advance for higher taxes and domestic terror attacks, jackasses.

Ron Paul is a Doorknob

If I hear one more person say they are supporting Ron Paul for 2008, I'm going to go insane.

Yeah, Ron Paul could totally win in 2008!

NOT.

Nightwalkers, Part 2

Question: Does everyone now have sexually-charged pics of them somewhere in the world?

Hmmm, I'm going to let some girl/guy/both chew on my boob and catch it permanently on camera. Then I'm going to act all surprised when that photo shows up to haunt me in a few years.

Apparently, these beauty queens are super retarded. I guess that's why they aren't in a Math contest or something.

Nightwalkers

I can't believe someone knocked this ho up. She got beat with the ugly stick and she's a crackhead. Based on the two episodes of "The Simple Life" that I've watched, Nicole Richie is apparently retarded and a mean drunk as well. Did I mention she was ugly?

Muchos Gracias

Major thanks to Indian Chris and his design abilities that have carried my lackluster blog throughout the years. Yes, that Mad Spork is exactly what I pictured!

Charter Cable is a Creepy Homosexual

They are saying we owe them money because we planted a tree in our yard that damaged a cable.

1. We planted the tree 1 year ago, it died soon thereafter. This is the first time we have heard of a damaged cable.
2. The tree is like 7 inches tall, and it didn't grow because it died right after we planted it. So the roots weren't anywhere near the cable.
3. We dug a hole about 4 or 5 inches deep. The cable guy dug at least a foot down into the dirt to reach the cable.
4. There were no signs anywhere in our yard denoting that a cable ran through the middle of it.
5. The guy said we had to call a state agency whenever we wanted to dig a hole in our yard. So whenever a neighbor boy wants to play construction with his Tonka truck, we gotta call a state agency?
6. I guess there is a state law that says you have to call before you dig. Great law, since NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT. We talked to a city government official who said that we can contest this because of above reasons.

Charter cable can take their bill and shove it up their butts.


*update* they aren't going to charge us, after all!

That's Gay

Dem candidates debating entirely LGBT issues.

Excuse me?

What's there to debate? I'm open to suggestions because I honestly have no idea how people can discuss gay crap for an hour.

Poll: What are they going to talk about?

I say the Donks are going to pull the whole "hatred & bigotry" card.

Illegals Die in High Speed Chase, DeoDuce Unimpressed

Boo. Hoo.

I was trying to think of a tag line to go next to this link. My top two choices are:

They shouldn't have been here, anyway.

or

Three down, 12 million to go.

Oh I know, I'm a terrible person. Those of you out there that think I'm evil are the same people that think declawing cats is inhumane, you self-righteous whores!

*Update* Because of incessant whining, I am going to clarify. No, I don't want people to die in a messy car accident. My point is: why should we feel bad for criminals who die breaking the law?

2008 Elections

I'm calling a Hillary/Obama ticket for 2008. The Left doesn't seem to be able to make up their minds. All that pot is rendering them senseless. Not that the Republicans are faring much better, mind you.

Summary of 2008 Republican Candidates (off the top of my head):

1. Romney looked good initially but everyone knew he didn't have a chance. The big problem for Romney starts with M- and ends with -ormon. That and he tied his dog to his family's van several years ago while on a roadtrip. Jerk.

2. McCain is too old and part of the problem in Washington. He also acts like he's got a flask in his suit pocket that he swills during commercial breaks.

3. Tancredo - Rich, white Christian guy. This translates to the Left as "Serial rapist and tax evader."

4. Brownback - Conservative white guy = anti-gay, racist bigot.

5. Ron Paul - *snickers*

6. Giuliani - our potential saving grace for 2008. However, a lot of douchebags riding their high moral horses refuse to vote for someone like Giuliani (a la abortion). Said douchebags don't have a reality check and frankly, still surprise me that they are able to function and breathe.

7. Thompson, Fred - Strong actor, weak record. I doubt he'll get the right wing nod.

8. Thompson, Tommy - *snore*

All of the rest are even less noteworthy than Ron Paul. Man, that's sad. The only thing less noteworthy than Ron Paul is my dog's turds in the lawn from last fall.

Back from the Dead

Welcome. I will lose 90% of the friends I have currently made because of this blog, but I found I became too ornery with no outlet for my insane political babble.

And I have too many friends. I am over-extended socially. Seeing them on one or two nights during the week really wears me out. I prefer the hermit's life one acquires when you manage to piss off everyone around you. I miss the hate mail and death threats.

So, Deo is back.