Hamas State Media

Our mainstream media is a joke. It's so pro-Hamas, I wonder why I even bother sometimes.

Take this piece of crap, for example.

Now, take it with a grain of salt because we all know that the AP is comprised of Al-Jazeera rejects. But still, it's annoying.

Look at these priceless tomes of wisdom:

The new deaths brought the death toll in the Gaza Strip to more than 500 since Dec. 27. Palestinian and U.N. officials say at least 100 civilians are among the dead.

K douchtitties, let's all wonder who these civilians are. I bet all my money and my pets that those civilians were somehow tied to Hamas. And the U.N.? I thought they were too busy raping young girls and stealing aid money from poor nations to bother with minor stuff like this. My bad.

Gaza City's civilians cowered inside as battles raged, while terrified residents in other areas fled in fear. In the southern town of Rafah, one man loaded a donkey cart with mattresses and blankets preparing to flee.

Horrible Zionist regime, blah blah blah.

Lubna Karam, 28, said she and the other nine members of her family spent the night huddled in the hallway of their Gaza City home. The windows of the house were blown out days earlier in an Israeli airstrike, and the family has been without electricity for a week, surviving without heat and eating cold food.

Aw, no electricity! Cold food! Shut up, you stupid donkeyhumpers. You wouldn't be in this spot in the first place if your beloved Hamas would stop hiding behind women and children while they launch rockets at a far superior military force. Morons.

Gaza health officials said the dead included a 12-year-old girl, five members of a single family, eight civilians killed by a tank shell in the northern Gaza town of Beit Lahiya, and an ambulance driver.

Again, thank Hamas. I'm surprised freaking Mossad didn't just blow in with their uber-ninja skills and start cracking open heads at will. Stupid Palestinians should be thankful for that. That's what needs to happen. Unlike the Palestinians, the Israelis don't get their rocks off by blowing up schoolbuses full of 5 year-olds. Too bad the kid died, but again, the blame lies with Hamas.

While the air offensive presented little risk for Israel's army, sending in ground troops is a much more dangerous proposition. Hamas is believed to have some 20,000 gunmen and has had time to prepare. Israeli leaders had resisted a ground invasion for months, fearing heavy casualties.

AP was apparently too busy burning effigies of Bush to realize that the Israeli army is so far superior to Hamas blowhards, it's hilarious. This is like prom night for a horny 17 year-old, and Israel is getting ready for showtime.


Ban Ki-Moon can plant one on my derriere. When Hamas stops suicide bombings and the ridiculous rocket launches, then everything stops. Anyone who condemns Israel at this point is either a Hamas supporter, or so hopelessly braindead that their moms still have to change their adult diapers.